The Horny Teen-Ager...

I met this English guy who we'll call The Horny Teen-ager at Circa a week or so ago (yes, the same place where I got dumped a week ago by Mr. Lawyer). From the get-go, I knew The Horny Teen-ager was too young for me. I mean, we're only technically less than a year apart but in mental age, I'd say we're more like a decade apart.

For the first date, we grabbed a drink the night after we met. The first thing I noticed was that he was a total pretty boy - too much gel in the hair, a pseudo faux -hawk, and way way overly expensive jeans. While I understand that he's European, I still wasn't a fan. He has a total babyface so we got carded the minute we sat down at A16 which I definitely thought was funny. Anyway, all in all the first date was ok. The second date was dinner. I had a race early the next morning so told him I couldn't stay out late and nor did I want to. We went to Panta Rei in North Beach - I could sense he was hoping I wasn't too hungry although he did pay. After the restaurant, we grabbed a beer at Tony Nick's and he made a play for my face. Literally tried to suck me up in one swipe. I did the not so fast hand maneuver and somehow got him off of me gracefully. We said goodnight and he didn't seem too miffed by the whole thing - well, except he called me a cab from the corner but didn't offer to pay. So, he called and texted all weekend. He was dying to see me again so he proposed a Sunday night movie. I had some errands to run so we went to the Haight first, grabbed some food and then headed back to the Marina to catch a flick. I noticed during dinner that he was sporting a hicky on his neck. I laughed to myself. Then, we looked up movie times and nothing was playing till way way late and I was pretty over having to hang out with him for that many hours. But low and behold, I didn't have to. He instantly went for it - pounced on me and tried sucking my face off again. He got upset that I wouldn't kiss back and then only tried harder. I called him out on the hicky. First, he tried to tell me it was from wrestling with the guys (and I'm thinking or your middle school aged girlfriend?) and then he admitted to his little love fest the night before. He came up with a million and one excuses about his drunken state and why it happened all while I kept insisting that it didn't matter to me either way. Eventually, he pounced again - only this time I could feel him on my leg - GROSS!! So I swatted at him and said, "down boy..you remind me of a horny teen-ager..." He got off, looked wounded and made some jack-ass remark about my sex drive (as I'm thinking - what do you know little man) to repair his own ego. I let it go.

He left without saying goodbye. I laughed myself downstairs to give the download to my girlfriend B. Later, I received several text messages from him saying how cool of a chick I was, and how much he liked  me. Right. I wrote back in the nicest manner I know how, "Aw, thanks but I think its best we're just friends. We're on a different page in our lives right now. I wish you all the best in your SF adventures and to many more hicky-filled nights. Cheers, Jski."

I thought that would be the end but got a text from him this morning asking me to grab dinner with him later in the week. Are you serious? Boys..teen-agers...geez.