Its over - time to begin again

So Mr. Lawyer and I are officially over. There's no real rhyme or reason - other than the simple fact that he doesn't love me and doesn't think he can love me. Its just so weird because he was being super boyfriend the whole night and then out of nowhere breaks up with me. I've had a week to sort of brood over it. I've had the ups and downs, the tears, the heartache and the many conversations with my girlfriends....but none if it will change what has already happened. Oh well. There's nothing more to do now - its time to just move on.

Mr. Psycho Hose Beast Ex has also been back. He sent me an email saying basically that he wanted to finally come clean. Apparently, when all the badness and madness (as I like to call it) was happening...all the shit that caused us to finally call off our engagement and basically drive each other mad, was a result of his coke habit that I had no idea he had. He emailed me this long explanation of how now that he's clean, he realizes that he's fucked up the best thing that ever happened to him. He turned away from me instead of asking for my help and now he wants my forgiveness and understanding. I've forgiven friends for drugs. I've never held a grudge but how do you let someone back into your life who royally fucked up your heart, your ability to believe and to love? I just don't know...

On a lighter note, the dating blog is back. I'm officially single and am going out (again) like a mad woman. Trying to keep busy and my mind off of things...I am once again a serial dater extraordinaire!

Met Mr. English Boy last week at a bar. I was rude to him - told him I thought he was an arrogant prick. He asked for my number and I thought, what the hell. He called me the next day and wanted to grab a drink so I agreed to meet him at A16. He's really nice, and has that funny boy English charm but I think he may just be too young for me. He's a year younger than me - and I know that's not a lot but it still feels a bit like robbing the cradle. He seems smart too - sales for Intel - and they flew him out from London to do that and gave him some snazzy downtown apartment - so we'll see. He's been persistent - we're doing dinner tomorrow night somewhere in North Beach.

Tonight, I'm meeting up with a friend of mine and his friends from business school. He's an analyst from New York who I met on my last business trip - he was a guest at one of the media dinners we threw and we hit it off. He's young, cute and smart -  but this isn't technically a date - just dinner, catching up and meeting his friends. Plus, I'm pretty sure he must think I have a man...or at least if he's paid any attention to my Facebook page...

Saturday, I'm going sailing with some people....so yeah...busy weekend already...life of a party girl begins NOW!!!!